The blog-post on procrastination

This blog post idea came to be because this month I was supposed to be writing a novel in a month again, but I procrastinated because there were people I had to entertain, so... yeah. I have several ideas on how to eliminate procrastinating. I'm sure that some of them are just fanciful thoughts, but maybe they'll work for someone.... or not... whatever....

1) If the reason for the procrastination is the fear of failure, preparation is very important. The only reason I finished NaNoWriMo 2010 was because of preparation (I'm sure there is a post about that on this blog somewhere if you really want to hear me ramble about it). The point is to make success so inevitable that you don't have an excuse not to do it. Of course if it's not something you want to do, then no amount of preparation is going to help you out, which leads us to,

2) Make sure it's something you really want to do. If it's just something that you have to do, then fear of failure is probably not your problem. The problem is that you don't want to do it, so your brain is making up every excuse imaginable to not have to. There's always the age old, "just do it" theory, but I know that that rarely works unless I can startle myself. Such as, your mom tells you to do something. Instead of thinking about doing it, just let that instinct of obedience kick in and do it before you realize that you don't want to. If you have time to think about it, then...

3) Try to make it worth it. Think of EVERY possible reward (big or small, obvious or subtle) you could think of for doing it. Make a list, if you must! Or make up rewards for yourself if you finish. Don't make them lame rewards like candy, because I'd crumble and just eat the candy... Make even as simple as bragging rights. If I had failed NaNoWriMo 2010 (like I failed 2009) most people wouldn't even know that I'd tried, because one of the rewards that I'd made for myself was that if I finished I could go out and tell anyone and everyone and that I'd finally have an answer to the question "What is your biggest accomplishment thus far in life?". Bragging might be a little prideful, but if you have something to be legitimately proud of, then why not?

4) I read/heard somewhere about reading scriptures (I am a Mormon, just so people aren't extremely confused) that if you had a problem with reading them because you kept getting distracted by other more interesting books (not that the scriptures aren't interesting, it just takes more work from you for them to be interesting and people [a.k.a. me] are super lazy), you should put your scriptures on top of the more interesting book and make the deal with yourself that if you read a certain amount, you can put them down and read what you really wanted to. This could (probably... maybe?) work on other things as well.

Such as with my current WIP (Work In Progress, for those of you who don't know), what I did was keep the Word document that contained it open at all times. I love multi-tasking and I love being able to have multiple tabs/windows open at a time, but subconsciously it really bugs me to have a lot of things open, so when I do, it's almost a game to me. I work as quickly and as efficiently as possible so as to eliminate the clutter, so seeing that Word document open all the time REALLY bugged me. It wasn't so much that I would write because I was trying to finish so that I could close the window, but it served as a reminder that I had something I needed to be working on. Granted, this idea didn't work as well as I would have liked it to, but I did get more written that I would have if I hadn't left it open. The way I reminded myself to open it up again every time I turned off my computer was that I put the document shortcut in the middle of my desktop (this works because I keep all of my folders around the outside of the desktop because I like to see the desktop background... the little Word document in the middle of my lovely picture drove me to insanity)

Another example would be a certain Seminary teacher that I know. This certain teacher is currently in the process of reading my NaNoWriMo 2010 monstrosity. Just to give you an idea of the scale of the procrastination; the book is roughly 175 pages long (with BIG words, so...)(this wouldn't have cut it for a seventh grade book report) and it's super easy to read (believe me, I know, I wrote it). This teacher has had this book since about the second half of April, about two and a half months. He is on page eleven. Of course, he is an adult with a job and a family (and religious duties) so I suppose he has a fairly good excuse (in other words, I'm not writing this in judgment, just trying to be helpful).

This teacher is probably intelligent to come up with his own way of doing things, but my suggestion would be: DO NOT LEAVE IT OVER ON THAT TABLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM. I'm sure that stack of books over there is a very important stack of books, but you aren't going to remember to read it if it's not somewhere you can see it (or reach it, for that matter). Like I did with my WIP, just start carrying it around with you. Even if you don't have time for it, it'll either drive you mad that you are carrying around that useless lump, or it'll make you feel guilty that you haven't gotten anywhere with it. One of two things will (probably) happen; one, you will get used to having it there and begin to ignore it (like I've begun to do with my open WIP Word document) or, two, you will finally get so fed up with having it there that you'll just finish it in, like, an hour and then you can give it back and pretend that it never existed.

SO, anyway, if you have something that you should be doing or you want to be doing, but you can't seem to get over your procrastinative <---(That's not actually a word...) nature, make that thing a constant presence in your life and then maybe you'll be able to get it done. Plus, making a book you have to read (or one you have to write) follow you around everywhere can be amusing... until it gets annoying, which is kind of the point.

In closing, I'm actually impressed with myself that I was actually able to write a blog post with getting off subject, so... that's fun. Considering that I'm writing this blog post because I'm procrastinating writing my WIP, I think it turned out well.

P.S. Brother Mickelson,

I'm kidding. :P

emily haz emoshunl prblmsssss jk lol ur muthrr

Using bad grammar is extremely evil and you should never do it.....

So far, I am failing miserably at summer time. I've been doing practically nothing and, despite the finest efforts of a few of my cousins, my older brother, and my Seminary teacher, I haven't been able to do much more than walk up and down some stairs a billion times, bake a seven-layered cake (awesome), and...... write about a paragraph in my novel.... Well, that's probably not true, I wrote a page or two, but then I decided to start over and have now written a few pages.... still not very much of an accomplishment compared to all the awesome Twitter people that I know of who are pwning at Camp NaNoWriMo (at which I have failed).

I am extremely bored with summer. I haven't even read that many books (mostly due to the ONE book I'm working on that is EXTREMELY long and is taking a VERY long time to read thus making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to get much reading done), mostly I've just been sitting on the internet reading Wikipedia entries on The Lost City of Atlantis (I'm calling it research for my novel, but I'm just procrastinating) and watching The Bachelorette (spelling=WHATEVER... unless I spelled it correctly...) which is actually about ten times more amusing than I thought it was going to be. I'm also working on watching the 1963 season of Doctor Who, but I keep getting distracted by other TV shows that I get interested in. At least I've stopped watching Newsies several times a day.

Actually, another thing that I've noticed myself doing this summer a lot is going to the store (with no money) and just looking at all the stuff that I would want that I cannot have. Don't worry, I won't stoop to petty shoplifting, but I do drool a lot of Queen CDs and books. I'm not sure why I think that this will help me to feel like less of a loser with no job and no money. Of course, I always automatically open the Word document holding my novel when I turn my computer on in hopes that how little is written there will inspire/motivate me to write more, but obviously that's not working. I've written a little in a notebook (more than I have typed) so maybe I should just get back to good old paper and pencil (the nostalgia should be most helpful).

Is it just wishful thinking that I keep getting more and more new ringtones even though I don't get called/text messaged? I just think that it makes me feel like I'm sort of cool(*cough*pathetic*cough*) to have ringtones. My father says that his group at work make fun of people who have ringtones. So, in other words, my father works in a very positive, uplifting environment. I think it's a little counter-productive to tell us stories about the people they shun at work when he's been trying to get us to stop making fun of each other... but that might just be me.

OOOH, today, whilst playing Trivial Pursuit, my cousin, Paige, and I found the telephone number of the White House.... and then we called it... and then they answered and we all sat around the table laughing too hard to say/do anything and then we hung up, so if we get assassinated in the night by ninjas.... xD

This blogpost is beginning to get a little rambly, so I'm going to stop before I hurt myself (or someone else). So long, internet!

The Hallway of Time (Sounds like a Legend of Zelda game...)

“It’s not that simple. I couldn’t prevent you from leaving, but I could sever the strings that kept me attached to your world and follow your exit path with you.”
“Why would anyone want to destroy the thing keeping them clinging to a real place?”
“Say you were in danger, or perhaps you were faced with an impossible situation.”
“So, basically, you can use it to run away.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. Sooner or later the connection fades. It’s only a temporary thing. If it were permanent, none of us would be wandering around in here. We’d all be out there.” Toby looked up past my face as if he could see the universe beyond. I could see the hopeless longing in his eyes, and that’s what made me realize that even if, by happy coincidence, I could back to the right place and time, there was no hope for me being able to stay there. For a moment, I considered curling up on the floor and crying. My brain was telling my body that it was over and I felt my legs wanting to collapse.
I mustered every ounce of courage and hope that I could and squared my shoulders. Toby was shaken out of his thoughts and his hands dropped from my shoulders. I turned away from him to face one of the hallways leading away from the little room.
“Where are you going?” Toby asked as I took a step toward the hallway.
“I’m going to find a way to get back home.” I said determinedly.
“Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t go wandering off in any old direction.” Said a voice behind me. I turned around, seeing that Toby had also turned. During my assessment of the small room and the hallways beyond, I had failed to look at the ceiling. One of the square sections that made up the ceiling was moving. It slowly moved downward several inches and then slid to one side. From the hole that the square of ceiling had been covering dropped a figure.

NaNoWriMo in June or NoMoRhino?

Only two days into my June NaNoWriMo experience, I'm officially giving up, but, despite what people think, this doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing the novel. For June NaNoWriMo, the rules were the same as they would be in November. 50000 words for the month, 2000 words a day, blah blah blah. I'm sure I might have done just fine if I hadn't started the month with an illness, so instead of June NaNoWriMo, I'm going to do NoMoRhino, which doesn't actually stand for anything. Brother Mickelson just can't remember NaNoWriMo, so this is what he says instead. I have now decided to make my own, less painful, less stressful, NaNoWriMo and call it NoMoRhino instead. There is no word count goal, which sounds like it isn't going to motivate me to work like a goal would, but I'm more motivated than one would think. Also, due to having neck-muscle pain, my doctor recommends that I only spend around a half of an hour on the computer each day, which does NOT give me enough time to type 2000 words, so.... blah.

NaNoWriMo: November of 2010

The difference between November of 2010 and November of 2009 was preparation. I mean this in the biggest way possible. I FORGOT ABOUT NANOWRIMO WHEN IT STARTED IN 2009. I totally forgot, so I didn't do it, even though they encouraged you to try, even if you were late. I don't even remember the idea I had for that NaNo.

In 2010, I was sitting around on a Sunday (probably in between the sessions of General Conference) and I had the fleeting thought that November started in a month and that maybe I should think of an idea. I originally based my novel on a dream that I had, though, after I finished preparing it, it was extremely different, but almost similar.

For the first half of the month of October, more out of boredom than anything else, I started jotting down ideas that I had. The second half of the month, my story began to take shape and seem actually possible. Having been a failure for my whole life as a writer, I got pretty excited and more than a little obsessed with the idea that I could actually finish a novel if I wanted to (Sounds dumb, but this was a foreign idea to me at the time). Becoming obsessed in advance was one of the things that carried me through November.

The last week of October, I had filled out a billion character charts and sheets and I'd completely mapped out every scene of my novel, except for the end. I knew my story so well, that I dared have a tiny shred of confidence (until the night before November actually started. I was pretty nervous and I couldn't sleep. I was scared out of my mind).

I don't really remember much about November except for that it was easy and hard at the same time. It was easy because I was so prepared that I knew exactly what was going to happen. I even had some of the wording ready to use. It was hard because it consumed every second of my time. I went to school in the morning and wrote as furiously as I possibly could until school started. I was so obsessed with this that I had to stop myself from not paying attention in Seminary so that I could write. The only class that I had a problem in was Human Biology. It's not that I neglected my work, it's that I put it off because my novel was my number one priority all month. Mr. Cox was NOT okay with me writing while we were watching movies (that I'd already seen, might I add) or coloring diagrams (lame)(I also recall him being the only teacher in all of Intermediate school that ever gave me a "green slip" which I ended up getting out of because Mrs. Lynch thought that I looked innocent enough.... okay, she didn't say that, but she said that I sounded pretty sorry and that if I stayed out of her office for fifteen days, she'd just throw the green slip away..... YEAH!...... I don't even remember what it was for... whatever).

Of course, during Orchestra it was impossible for me to write during class. Plus, Miss Dunn outlawed books and homework during rehearsal. Anyway, the rest of my day probably doesn't matter (I'm too lazy to type it), but the point is that I took my NaNo binder with me EVERYWHERE. I didn't put it in my backpack, I carried it in my arms. Even when I had to set it down and concentrate on something else, it was still a presence in the back of my mind (cliche) and I thought about it a lot.

On the bus when I couldn't write, I familiarized myself with the next spot I was going to write. I played it out in my head, imagined dialogue, talked to myself. When I got home, I locked myself in my room (Not really, my bedroom door has no lock) and I continued to write until eleven or twelve. Then, the next morning I would start again. I only had one moment of real writer's block during the whole month and even that only lasted about a half an hour, so it was fine. This was able to come about because of how well prepared I was.

The writing part of it was fun, that's why I do it. I liked the imagining and the planning (see Paper Towns for awesomeness surrounding the idea of the fun being in the planning of a thing). I REALLY liked the finishing at the end (new experience). I liked the weaving of the story. I really liked NaNoWriMo.

So, doing it again for my June NaNoWriMo should be easy, right? Not in million years. I'm not as prepared, I've failed to write two novels since November and I'm even more ready to fail again. Of course, I'm not going to let this stop me, but it might keep me from succeeding, seeing as I keep hesitating. I need that confidence and I need that obsessiveness. This is going to be...

Emily Talks About Writing While She Procrastinates Writing in Her Novel

I'm going to talk about writing, because 1) it's something I talk about a lot, 2) It's something that's easy to talk about, 3) it's on my mind, 4) because I'm putting off writing in my novel because of issues that I will most likely outline sometime in this blog post, 5) I like typing and this is a subject that I could probably go off about forever. So, allons-y.

I'm not sure if I should start at the top of my list or at the bottom... So, I'll start at the top, for fear of being cliche (of course, starting at the bottom as an act of rebellion is also cliche... LIVE IS ONE HUGE CLICHE!). Not a lot of people think that I talk much, but you should go talk to Leslie, because she will tell you that sometimes I cannot shut up. Especially if I've had an idea in my head for a few days. I won't stop talking about it, but Leslie is just awesome and sits there patiently. I'm sure that sometimes she's just ignoring me, but that's okay because she always nods in the right places. When Josh was still living in our house, I would talk at him a lot while he was on his computer (I probably talk at Leslie more now because I don't have Josh to talk at... sorry Leslie :P). Anyway, as you may or may not know, I am extremely insecure about my writing. If I even have a sliver of doubt (Stupid cliches xP) about something, I usually obsess about it. I am a very anxious person. At the same time, when I get a really great idea that I'm sure will never EVER fail, I can't stop thinking about it, and because Leslie is the only one who can make sense of my disjointed thoughts, she's the only one to whom I blab mostly.

I actually lied. Writing is not easy to talk about... in a way that makes sense to anyone besides Leslie, I mean. It's hard for me to make sense when telling a story, so trying to explain the way that my mind works is next to hopeless. The best I can do is wave my arms and hands around wildly (which you can't see because I'm typing) and hope that it makes sense... One of my former Seminary teachers, Brother Black, made fun of me once for waving my hands so wildly around. I don't remember exactly what kind of discussion we were having, but I was trying to explain a question I had and he told me to calm down or I might hit someone.

Writing is on my mind because my friend, Amanda, wants me to do NaNoWriMo in June with her, since she was unable to do it in November. This works out because the OLL is going to do it again sometime during the summer anyway (YES!!!!). I'm trying to decide whether I want to use my time-travel novel idea for it... but I can't really decide. Also, I finished the book I was reading yesterday and found myself (momentarily) without reading material, so I pulled out my book and was unable to think of something to write in it for almost an entire class period (until I found that I, indeed, had an extra book hidden in my backpack. HOORAH.).

Another issue I have is that, when I write, it's like I'm opening up my soul and pouring out the story... or something like that. Also, I prefer typing to writing on paper. My computer is in my living room so as to connect it to the internet, but when I write, I like being in my room where it's more private. Also, my mother has a nasty habit of watching over people's shoulders whilst they write. I would drag my heavy, old desktop into my room, but then I forfeit my internet and IT'S HEAVY. So, I don't want to start typing in the living room, simply because I don't feel comfortable doing it here, but I also have to start doing this at one point or another, so... Procrastination is the answer for now. :P

So maybe I can't go on forever with this topic, but it did occupy my attention for a while and I do like typing............

Emily Rants

I was ranting via Twitter, but then I decided that not having a character limit would be less stressful. This will just be me complaining about all the mean things that have happened to me today, so, ignore if you want. I'm going to make a list, because I think lists are cool. HA:

1) I had to carry my violin all around with me because I have to practice my unfinished duet that I will be playing with my mother (accompanied by Leslie) in Sacrament meeting at some point in the near future. After carrying that thing around on your shoulder for a while, you will porbably get severe pain somewhere in your upper body, most likely your head, shoulders, or neck.

2) I didn't get very far with my final project in Web Page Design because I got distracted by Photoshop. I would LOVE to own Photoshop....

3) I had to ride the bus home for nearly an hour... those seats promote bad posture and are rarely comfortable after ten minutes of sitting on them... headache worsened.

4) I got home and I literally had to swim (okay, not literally, but... whatever) through a pile of papers to get from the living room to the kitchen to my bedroom and then back across the living room to turn my computer on.

5) Our internet usually take about fifteen minutes to turn on. [The people told us that we didn't need to turn it off, but my parents are paranoid that someone is going to sit on our back porch and steal our internet... which is a joke because we can't get wireless connector thingies to pick up our internet...ness.... so I don't know why we don't just leave it on... it would be easier. MY cousin Sam and I have a running joke. We decided that the only people smart (stupid) enough to try and steal our internet would be homeless people who had nowhere else to go to get internet but the middle of nowhere....)

6) While I was waiting for the internet to turn on, I made myself a bagel, and I was pouring myself some milk and I spilled it.

7) While I was cleaning up the spilled milk, my bagel got cold (I had toasted it).

8) I decided to go practice the one song that I can (sort of) play in the piano: Late by Ben Folds. I fail miserably at playing the piano, so that did next to nothing for my mood.

9) I then decided to play Guitar Hero, which is what I like to do to relieve my stress... although I haven't played it since Christmas when my older brother moved out of the house. (I'm probably, secretly, horribly depressed... The only reason I'm so good at Guitar Hero is because I wanted to be better than Josh. We used to play it all the time.... *sigh*)

10) I logged onto my computer and then opened Firefox, which promptly was "not responding" for about ten minutes.

11) My mother was watching a movie right next to me, and you'd think she were deaf, the sheer volume of sound that emanates from the TV when she's watching it. I had to turn my iPod up all the way just to block out the sound. It's not that I don't like watching movies occasionally, but I don't particularly watching movies during the day, every day, or with other people in the room (due to the fact that I legitimately talk to myself... especially whilst I am driving and talking to yourself is kind of distracting to other people in the room, so I watch movies by myself so that I can talk to myself without disturbing anyone else).

12) I was talking to my father, telling him a story about my day and he walked outside and closed the door.... Of course, my parents frequently leave the room when I'm talking to them, so I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise.

13) The duet I am writing for the song If You Could Hie To Kolob (the one which I am going to play in Sacrament meeting) is unfinished because Finale Notepad won't let me change key signatures or time signatures in the middle of the song... which I need to do. All production on that has stopped until I have figured out what to do.

14) I've been meaning to write in my current book, but I can't figure out whether character development is more important or plot development. I kind of hate going off on a tangent in the middle of the story (especially when it's at the beginning), but in this case, a tangent would be helpful in developing the independence of my main character, which is important, in my opinion.

15) Kailey and I were supposed to make a slideshow for the Orchestra party next week, but she didn't come over today and I don't have access to most of the pictures that we would be using.

Well, that was incredibly stress relieving. I guess you're supposed to follow up these sorts of things with lists of good things, but I'm really sort of lazy right now, so... maybe a future blog.